i feeed her ok but after a feed she now just turns over away from me. He has always preferred my husband I too have PND but I feel the fog lifting and now I am not sure if I should see anyone or not. And then a last piece of advice ask your mom to help you do the running around fixing things so that you can spend as much time as possible with your little girl. I did not breastfeed her as a baby. All of a sudden our 9 month old son seems to prefer his daddy over me. You can do it. I encourage you, because Ive been there, to seek help if youre struggling with depression. Any parent who has been there can relate to your pain. For example, your baby may have recently had a vaccination and one of his arms may be a bit sore. She's 9 weeks and we started introducing at 4 weeks. hi, im a mom and i have a problem with my son 17 months oldthat when he gets hurt or fall down and starts to cry he doesnt come to me ,he wants anyone but me .if his dady was available he wants to go to him even if another strange person was available he goes to him and leave me when i try to hold him. I dont know what to do. Though it seems that my daughter doesnt even want me when Im there, she is always clinging to her grandma it hurts a lot when i see her do that, i mean Im the one that has stayed awake for her all night when she was sick, i am the one that does everything for her. You sound beyond sad, really despairing. Try "introducing the mouth to the bottle" rather than trying to get the baby to drink. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Help . In conclusion, it is a painful when a baby rejects mom or dad. you cant help it. I have a 7 month old son and since he was born his grandmother(dads mom) has been obsessed. Pin it or frame it at a place where you can give a quick look. Otherwise, you will reinforce her wishes to put distance between the two of you and her wish to go to the other person, where does not experience any bad emotions. Those five weeks where he preferred his daddy over me where the hardest things Ive had to face since becoming a mum. He just screams in my arms. Ive been really upset about in the last few days, crying about it and even getting cross about it. Im ready to walk but want to be there for my children & my girlfriend is due again in December with another little boy. What the hell do you expect when you abandon your baby? Also get yourself a baby sling and carry her around as much as you can while running around. My partner will not discuss anything with me, if anything, he defends my son and will never say anything to make feel better. I think you do have a problem. Being 18 months old, your daughter is in an age where turning out towards the world is a natural development. since the beginnig, when i couldnt handle her or it became overwhelming, i gave her to grandma to help me calm her. Im teaching and comes back home in the early evening. My wife dismisses my concerns so Im looking for the reassurance online. My partner thinks Im being ridiculous, but thats easy for the preferred parent to think, Im sure. Speak with Your Boss. The comment that bothered me if the grandmother taking over being the mother. You are not alone, you have not done anything wrong and you should not be feeling this sad. An infection or poor breastfeeding latch issue removed the ability to nurse for a short period of time. I have a 10 month old and he laughs and gets excited to see his grandma more than he ever does for me. Pump or hand express your milk. Mom's Question: No phone, no computer, no cleaning, cooking, working, or thinking about other things. She just wants me to go away from her. Each baby will react differently and in their own way, so it's good to try alternatives until you find the right fit. I wonder why this isnt written about or talked about more widely. He always trying to get daddys attention instead. She wants to be with anyone else in the house except me. You and your wife disagree on how to deal with several issues regarding your son and you take on the role of being the one disciplining him. But the best thing you can do is to NOT take it personal. I looked after him for 7 months like a single mum as we lived alone. Or is my situation just too unique? My boys are my life and i am so grateful that i am their mom! So, yes, absolutely discuss how you can help each other more. 2.) Talk to your employer to determine the frequency and length of federally-protected pumping breaks. I am in a similar state..My daughter has chosen my husband and my MIL always over me..I had a C section and whenever she used to cry as a newborn my MIL would come and whisk her away..Dad was her all time fav cos he would sing to her in his deep voice..I comforted myself saying that it would all be fine but she is one year old now and I see no improvement..When she is crying, she doesnt want me.My MIL whisks her away and she stops crying in a sec..My MIL thinks I am not doing a good job as a mon and that erodes my confidence as a working woman and a mom..I regret having my baby sometimes even though she is the most beautiful angel in my eyes..I cry and I have a diary written for her to read when she becomes a mom..On the overall I dont feel like a mom..My daughter doesnt hug me..She doesnt call me Mama.She hugs her dad and grandma all the time and says even Apple and Papa..I guess I am just not meant to live!! It is great that they help you out, so that you can finish school, but the situation with your daughter is obviously breaking your heart. I have never been away from her for more than 2 hours before this and now she doesnt even care to see me. I dont know what to do. When I am in the US, I try to work from home on most days so I can spend time with my children. Ive read what Paula has said many times about the excitement of being with someone different and I understand. When they put him on my chest right after delivery it was the most beautiful moment of my life. When I go to pick her up from day care, she wont even respond when she sees me. And then I would try to get busy with something else and just basically not make a bigger deal than it already was for me. Feed your milk to your baby. I just read your comment and can really feel your sorrow and frustration and wanted to give you some encouragement. Just continue to be there for her and show that you are still around even if things are not exactly like before. my daughter is now one year old and our bond has strengthened. But to love a child DESPITE feeling downright unloved back is extraordinary, seriously. However, there is no way of telling ahead of time whether your baby will go happily from breast to bottle and back again. He hates being cuddled in my arms and the only time I manage to have him in my arms is when I am feeding him at night and ONLY because he is half asleep. Hopefully Ill be able to post later and say that things are different. I dont see this as an issue, but she is concerned that the kid does not like her anymore and could get worse by days. I was born to an ignorant mother who failed to nurture me. I do everything to. it is breaking my heart. And I suspect it isnt helping your wife either. That is an excellent way to allow the two of you to bond. our babies love us. I clean up UNBELIEVABLY poopy diapers. This can make a toddler feel like mom has been taken away or even rejected. Or give me some advice so she wont freak out on me like she does? They fidget a lot or hate getting messy. She rather suck her thumb than sucking the bottle. Try Bottle Feeding a Drowsy Baby. His mother lets him do what he wants when he wants while Im at work, so I have no say so in the fact. My 5 year old son rejects me. In fact she would crawl away if i come near her. Moms Question: Pls help. please give me some advice. When I do leave him he doesnt even notice. When he was about 10 mos, I went back to work f/t. Hi all. Fellow mommy Im very concerned about you. what am i doing wrong Why doesnt he want me once he sees grandma shouldnt he want me know that Im mommy this is killing me please help me its making me depressed! Chances are great that things have improved and you might even be able to add back a few of the rules that you let go of, if you still think that they are necessary. But unless one is emotionally stable, it can be almost impossible. It will pass. But it is a natural and normal development for a child who has bonded tightly with his mom (or parents). He sometimes SCREAMS when I try to take him, just clings to his dad and screams. But he just doesnt seem to need me. (My step-sons mom also went crazy during their separation. baby rejecting mom after going back to workbusiness memo examples. He also loves his father and grandmother. we spend so much time with our babies, i think its natural for them to pick up on our vibe. My son has done this to me ever since he was about 4 months old. Very hopeful! Make sure you give her 100% of your attention for at least 30 minutes each day and have FUN together during those 30 minutes. but, really, we'll be alright. This always triggers a post traumatic stress response in me and takes me back that awful dark place it sounds like you are in. But when I worked at being breezy, he seemed to want to be around me again. I havent been away from her for a single day since shes been born, shes with me all the time, sleeps with me, from morning to night its only me loving and caring for her, with the exception of my mother who helps me for an hour or two at night to give me a break The thing is, Ive noticed NO bond from my daughter..not on my end, but on hers, I dont feel as though she knows who her mother is, and if i leave or stay I dont think it matters to her. She is almost 10 months old. Thank you for letting us know that things got better, it has made all the difference to me. My baby was very attached to me but now she doesnt love me at all, she only wants my mother, she even calls her mama and she doesnt call me anything, she only wants to be with her , when she is sick or not sick, when she is sleepy etc She cries when my mom goes out and when my mom comes home she gets very happy and runs to her, i have cried every night for the past 2 weeks it hurts me so bad to see her not loving me, on the weekends i go out with her alone trying to spend more time with her, but its doesnt work at all!!!! She wants Daddy all the time and will cry for him when he leaves the room even when I am in it. Toddler Milestones. Give him a bah, feed him, put him to bed, give him his breakfast, get him dressed, take him out in his pram and do not take no for an answer or it will get worse. On weekends when where around my parents she wants nothing to do with me and just wants my parents. (, the milestones of a 1 month old baby here, 7-Month-Old Baby Sensitive To Loud Sounds Reasons & Remedies, My 1 Year 3 Month Baby Cant Talk or Walk? And when I get her home she ignores me. by | May 9, 2022 | cleanliness in islam hadith | hyatt regency seattle bathtub | May 9, 2022 | cleanliness in islam hadith | hyatt regency seattle bathtub This is painful, really painful. why is he acting like im the worst person in the world? Im the mother who wrote nearly a year ago that my baby boy didnt seem to love me, I posted later that things seemed to be improving and now, at 18 months, I feel absolutely loved by my son. Also, when you come home, try to be together with them together with your wife as much as possible, so that their separation anxiety regarding mom doesnt come between the three of you. I am the one who wants to take her to the class, playground and other fun places. Im in a bit of a no win situation here, I am expecting my first child with my partner, he has a daughter by a previous marriage , my job requires me to work out of the country for 4 weeks then I get 4 weeks off at home and so on. lately, i feel so depressed and down, because my boys seem to prefer they nannies over me. This is apparently common and it is only frustrating when some outsiders try to make you feel bad about it (they usually have no kids or they are judgmental). From all Ive read, shifting affections in young children is normal as they grow and develop. What can i do to get my daughter back? If he is upset, he wants his daddy to comfort him, not me. Even for biological parents, bonding is something that happens over time. It kills me and its making me resent her so much. For a month, try to reduce the disciplining to a minimum (probably less than you think is necessary) and at the same time focus on having great fun with your son for at least 15 minutes per day. Anyway, he will be one in a week or so and Im happy to say that things are back to normal and this seems like a distant memory. The bond is there, and you obviously love her very much. I am so in love with my son but am so heartbroken by this! Paula, please give me some advice! If we know why this is happening maybe we can change it! So they want to carried around the clock, wont play by themselves, cant be handed over to anyone else but mom or possibly dad without screaming like there was no tomorrow. Continue to do things alone with your boy that is an excellent way to maintain a good relationship even when he has become an older kid, teenager and adult. I have an 8 month old daughter. You may be feeling a range of emotions about being away from your baby, all while getting used to a new daily routine that might involve busier mornings, daycare drop . Ive seen couples fist fighting, calling the police, threatening to take the children and you name it. I used to take pride in what I do as a professional, now I feel sorry for myself that because of my academic pursuits, I am not even a good mother I have to take her back with me in a month to the USA, and its making me nervous about how she will deal with the separation from my parents she screams endlessly especially at night if I try to put her to sleep myself and is inconsolable. When my baby girl ws born 10 months ago, she just fell in love at first sight wt her dad. Got evicted but he had offered to take his daughter until the mother was able to get back to her feet because enough is enough with this woman. It may be because she may be spoiled to the phase of a daddys girl, or it may be you. So youve done great job. When he comes home, her face glows in a way that its never glowed for me. my 13 month old is having the worth temper tandrums ever. He is now almost 4 and cries every time his dad leaves and tells me he doesnt want me. If it is fairly new maximum 1 year or so what is going on is actually a completely natural development stage in your daughters life. this time we were alone in the room. I spent a lot of time crying and have found it hard, but I have loved my son and spent 7 months with him looking after him playing with him feeding him etc. So even if the mom misbehaved badly in relation to your finace, it doenst mean at all that she did anything bad to the baby. I am searching high and low for a place away from her. I want to tell you: this will pass. Or maybe it is related still not your fault. Yesterday, Xmas day, he passed the whole day following her everywhere! even when am not with her she plays with her grand mother or even neighbors. I am a house mum now and have been all my sons life. If she wants help then she should take her to day care then then she will start to understand the women picking her up is her mother. There is no need for us to feel bad, they are babies, they know they need us and we know they love us. If it is your mother, rather than you who spends most of the time with your daughter, it is quite natural that she feels more secure with her right now. Try feeding with cool or alternatively warmed milk. I started wearing lavender lotion every time i saw her, trying in some way to create a bond. Every experience is different, but generally, it takes around six weeks to feel relief from most postpartum symptoms after having a baby. There will be days and periods when all he does is yell at you. Try to have a lot of skin contact with her. Congratulations on your little daughter. What i am trying to say is dont u think that his granddad is trying his god damn hardest to take my farther figure away & take my bond away. So you are probably doing a fabulous job with making her feel safe with you and also maybe she hasnt yet started to suffer from separation anxiety. Really make sure that you put away all your worried, frustrated feelings when interacting with your daughter. Instead allow yourself to really enjoy your time with your daughter. so that she wont see me as a monster trying to take her away? It may take a few tries for that method to work. One is of course that you and your wife need to start talking to each other on how to raise your child. Assess your breastfeeding status If your baby is just a few weeks old and you must return to work, you may feel breastfeeding is not yet well established. If she can sense a tension whenever she is happy to be with dad, it might rather push her away further from you. his my world!! but Ive become hardened to it. Try and make him happy. I wrote on this post several months ago, when my son was 9 months old. Ask your midwife or doctor for help immediately if any part of you answers yes to my above question. It took me a while to get into the groove of motherhood not sure whether it was my age, post partum? My partner has always spoilt her by carrying her around on his hip what seems like constantly, so when he comes in from work she is happy and smiley and wants him to cuddle her and pick her up and she wont even look my way! If he wasnt a secure baby he wouldnt be able to bond with other people. First, identify why your baby might be refusing the bottle. When I first read about it, I thought it sounded crazy just 15 minutes! I feel like a bad mom. - Author Lori Mihalich-Levin in Back to Work After Baby: How to Plan and Navigate a Mindful Return From Maternity Leave.". Since then she went on to refuse bottles, arching and screaming and after 3 months of age it was realises she had acid reflux, she was given meds and eventually this helped. Starting earlier is sometimes suggested to prevent bottle refusal. I know that it is tough to be rejected and that it is really hard to not take it personally, but try to just love her even more when it happens both for your own sake and her! My daughter is constantly wanting my attention and is not happy when im not around. I work full time and travel quite a bit during the summer, up to a week at a time. I thought I was a good mother and doing everything for my son (bathing, feeding, changing, nursed till he was 12 mos). At around 3 to 5 years of age, children tend to become very attached to the parent of opposite gender. You need to try to get rid of this guilt in your heart! Since attachment can be an issue for adopted children, your question and worries really show what an engaged new mother you are. Just feel depressed that my 11-month-old does not want me and prefers my mom all the time its my fault.. due to certain unavoidable circumstances I had to leave her with my parents in my home country for 5 months, and now I am reunited with her (at 10 months)..its been a month with her now.. Ive been trying to bring her around to like me.. she does like me, I spend quite some time with her. However, since you have only been her mother for 1 week and a half, it is too early to start worrying about the bonding going wrong. His dad loves him but truly has done 15% of all that I do for the baby (feed, clean, entertain, I know its not fun for her and I think that is why she rather remain with her father. i feel that i been such a great mommy for him soo loving and careing his my everything but he started acting weird like a week ago it seems that he prefers his daddy more than me he works full time. even though i felt rejected i didnt stop trying to hold her or trying to play with her. Consider your overall financial picture. I dont work and both me and her dad at home with her. I just left my 4-month-old son for the first time overnight with my parents. I try so hard singing songs, playing games etc, but it seems to make no difference. Take your baby for a casual walk. It is a relationship that binds every human for their whole life. This is NOT just a phase. Whats worse is that my mom seems to enjoy the attention from him. especially when im there , but when im not around they seem to get along very well. Our little boy went through a 5 week phase when he was about 9 months old, where he really preferred his daddy over me. I have only returned this week to work after 11 months off with my 11 month old baby girl. Pace yourself, with paced feeding. Also, its kind of like when you go on holiday and leave your cat, when you come home the cat can be pretty miffed with you for leaving them, it can take a while for them to come round. she fetches her from pre school to be with her , she does mind going with him but when im there , she even cries, she can take anything that he bring her , bt wont allow him to hold her or talk to him. Avoid power struggles around cuddling at all costs! I just got back to my parents and was so relieved to see my son but he acted and is acting uninterested in me but my husband got a huge happy reaction from our baby. I do everything my mother does yet apparently I dont love her enough!! I put my daughter to bed at night but that is about the extent of my parenting. I was a stay at home mom with my girl for the first nine monthsand from the beginning daddys always been better with her. I have a 2 year old daughter. 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